From yours truly, Jae:

When I think about a time when someone loved me radically like Jesus, it’s tempting to write about my dearest wife, Mary. She loves me in a way that most resembles how Jesus loves me. Seeking God for guidance on how to love me well. Loving me by meeting me where I am. Knowing what my needs are and prioritizing them over my wants. All with patience, kindness, compassion, and encouragement.

But today, I want to tell you about a role model of mine, Max.

To tell you about how I met Max, I need to first rewind back to how Mary met Max. A few years ago, when Mary announced that she’d be moving to LA on Facebook, Charlton— a fellow acquaintance from college— randomly reached out and said if she ever needed a place to stay, she could reach out to his dad who supposedly hosted people all the time. Just like that, she flew in and stayed with the Ellzey’s.

Jumping ahead to 2020, Mary falls in love with her community group leader at a church in LA: yours truly. And not too long after, we get engaged and reach out to Max to be our premarital counselor. He happily obliged even though I was a complete stranger to him. That’s just the kind of person Max is.

For our first session, we met Max at the church where he’s a pastor. There, he greeted us with our favorite Starbucks drinks he asked us about beforehand and a friendliest smile you could imagine.

Max could probably tell we were a bit nervous, so he started out by cracking some dad jokes. I don’t recall what they were, but I remember finding ‘em hilarious. He then asked us a series of thoughtful questions to get to know us.

With every word we said, he paid close attention and demonstrated the most genuine empathy by responding with kindness. He let no words fall flat. Max saw the person behind the words and found ways to connect every single time.

I walked away from the meeting feeling something I don’t think I ever felt from a stranger: a radical love of Christ.

I remember telling Mary as we got in the car, “I will mark my success on whether I make others feel the way Max did for us: truly cared for.”

Over time, I’ve gotten to know Max and his family quite well. His wife Amy is a wonderful mentor figure to Mary, and their eldest son Charlton is a special friend of mine. We are also having the youngest twin sisters, Faith and Grace, over for dinner this weekend before they head back to college.

They are a family away from family: a family joined by a spiritual bond. During a trying season, Max and Amy invited us over for dinner and prepared a Southern meal— one that reminded us of home, especially for Mary who’s from Mississippi. I can still taste the good old original Louisiana-style gumbo and hush puppies we ate.

Whenever I need guidance on making big decisions, Max somehow finds a way to make time for me between his dad duties, pastoring a church, teaching college courses, and running a business. He always makes room to love others.

Isn’t that our Father’s heart for us as well?

On the last day of premarital counseling, I thanked Max and asked what his secret is to make sure all of his six kids feel loved. He replied with a giggle, “The secret is to make sure every one of them feels they’re the most special.”

I have a hunch Max not only knows how to make others think they’re the most special, but also understands why they’re special and expresses his love accordingly. Thank you, Max, for who you are and all that you do.

From Mary:

From a pretty young age, I felt God calling me to a life that was different from the people who were around me. He called me when I was 15 to leave my friends and choose a path that made a lot of people think I was weird or crazy. He called me to pursue acting and writing— a career that didn’t exist in the paradigm of reality that I knew. He called me to move from small town Mississippi to London and then again to LA. Time and time again He calls me to the narrow, uncharted path. Throughout my journey, I’ve questioned God so many times saying, “If I do that, I’ll be leaving everyone and be all alone” or “I’ll be rejected and misunderstood.” And time and time again, He has reassured me that when I make decisions for God I will always end up with more than what I started out with. That is not a promise for success, money, and power, but a promise of His goodness— that wherever he is leading is the best path, even when it requires a sacrifice.

“And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.” -Matthew 19:29

When I reflect back on my journey and think of who has shown me the radical love of Jesus, I think I could fill pages upon pages of stories both large and small. I feel overwhelmed by all the ways God has used people to show me His relentless love over the years— spiritual mentors that have prayed for me and supported me faithfully throughout the years as I moved across the world; Christ-loving, hospitable strangers that housed me for weeks when I moved to a new city; church community who truly treated me like a sister, daughter, or granddaughter when I was far from home; nuns that housed and fed me when I needed a safe haven; my now husband who embraced me and loved me despite my anxieties and best attempts to push him away; community both near and far that have flooded me with love and generosity in my darkest moments.

With each gesture of radical love, whether it was tangible display of generosity in a time of need, a text of encouragement when I was feeling discouraged, a warm meal when I was homesick, or a heartfelt hug when I was lonely— I can see and feel Jesus’s heart showering me with love and reminding me that where He leads, He will always provide. He continues to show me that although the narrow path may seem scary and unknown, it is so full of flowers.